Dissatisfaction with every action I take.
There is a certain sense of detachment when you do certain activities you do every day.
Like scrolling Instagram, looking at a sunset, or watching the tree outside your house from a window. The thought of "Maybe I could have done something else" consistently lingers in my mind. The joy of music also fades when you listen to it on repeat.
That's what is the punishment of habituation. You'll be the same.
I certainly get better at what I am habituated to, but it's not something different, it uses the same neural patterns. I think my brain gets bored of the same path it travels daily.
Then I do something different. Watch my sofa set closely, focusing on its tiny little details and it feels normal again for a few seconds. Then I might look out of the window to see the tree I have been there for years now seems different, some birds have made their home on it. The leaves look greener, I felt awe looking at them. "It's so beautiful", I say to myself. The wind felt nice so I went to the terrace and looked around at the things that turned orange as the sun sets. The birds fly back to their home, the clouds look majestic. The Sky was like a canvas full of colors.
I felt joy.
It was simple all along.
When we are habituated, we do not observe or think about what we are doing, we are on autopilot. Even when I came back to work on my laptop, I noticed little details about it, even though I am using it for two years.
I would summarize the beauty of it all with a quote from the movie Adaptation (2002)
“Neither the flower nor the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. I mean, how could they know that because of their little dance the world lives? But it does.”